I believe that lovers should be tied together
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008
I miss you.
Believe me when I say that.
[I don't think you do.]
I miss you so much my heart aches.
It's weird to me how long it's been since I've seen a number of people. It used to seem weird not to see some people everyday. It slowly progressed to weeks, and now months. There are moments such as now that I can't stand this. There's other times when I tell myself it's for the best or that's how it's supposed to be. It's been ages since I've been surround by a large number of people where everyone actually liked each other. Someone's always whispering behind your back and it's all so childish.
I want to see you just for a moment. Just to tell you all the things that have been racing through my mind. However when the moment comes you'll ask some question like "whats up?" or "how's life?" and the only thing I'll be able to mutter is "nothing" or "okay". This is the truth as well. I'm dying to come up with something to tell people more interesting when they ask me questions, to spark some sort of conversation. I've failed you all miserably in this way numerous times. It's the truth though, my life is a repetitive cycle of school and work.
I find myself unable to even breathe around people lately, so much as speak. I want to make a good impression so bad as of late. To fit in with people that I most likely will find myself around a lot because of certain circumstances....or simply because it would be nice to find people who actually enjoy my company. Yet this seems so hypocritical of me. I always thought that if someone didn't like me, then, tough that's their problem.
I want so bad to be good at something. Something other then being awkward. That's not a good thing to be good at. Everyone I know has something their good at or at least I can see that they have talent in anyways, even if they don't choose to believe it. I don't know if you're all being modest, but you're so very talented and beautiful, and that's the truth.
"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world was ending
And everybody's features
Have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic
And everyone's sarcastic
And all your food is frozen
It needs to be defrosted
You'd think the world was ending
You'd think the world was ending
You'd think the world was ending right now"
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
9:27PM
Ummm, help me pick a new major.
I don't know what I was thinking.
Give me ideassss.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
8:37PM
If I could manage to get through one day without crying it would be an accomplishment.
I cried at work today, for practically no reason at all.
Some little girl told me "It'll be okay."
She made me wanna cry more.
Wah, wah, wah.
I'm a little baby.
I wish I knew what the heck was wrong with me.
School and Work are the end of me.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
1.What do you have in the back seat of your car?
Nothing, it's cleeeaaan!
2. When was the last time you threw up?
A few weeks ago.
3. What's your favorite curse word?
Fuck, because it's humorous.
4. Name one person who made you smile today?
Tim.
5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Sleeping.
6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Getting home.
7. If you could marry any celebrity today who would it be?
Tim Scott.
8. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No.
9. What is the last thing you said aloud?
BROCCOLI!
10. What is the best ice cream flavor?
I don't know. I like a lot of theeem.
11. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Wa-wa.
12. What are you wearing right now?
Plaid Pj pants and my "What made Milwaukee famous" shirt.
13. What was the last thing you ate?
I'm eating broccoli.
14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.
15. When was the last time you ran?
I ran to the car to steal shotgun.
16. What's the last sporting event you watched?
I don't remember.
18. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
Myspace? Umm, I don't know.
20. Were you ever an honor roll student in school?
Yeah.
21. Do you like sushi?
I don't know.
22. Do you have a tan?
Not really.
23. Do you drink your soda from a straw?
Yessss.
25. Are you in Love?
mmhmm. =)
26. Are you someone's best friend?
I hope so.
27. Where is your mom right now?
Probably watching Oprah or something.
30. What color is your watch?
Nonexistent.
31. What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Steve Irwin.
32. Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
Yess.
33.What is your birthstone?
Amethyst.
34. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
Both.
35. What is your favorite number?
19,21.
36. Do you have a dog?
I wisssh.
43. What does your first memory of your sister involve?
Why is this a question?
44. Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
Skoool, money.
45. Last phone call?
Timmy.
46. Are you allergic to anything?
Dust and Weeeedzz.
47. How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
20.
48. Have you ever been to Six Flags?
Nope.
49. How did you get one of your scars?
Not knowing how to walk.
1. Who was the last person you hung out with, actual one-on-one?
Tim.
2. Do you think you're approachable?
I think I am, but other people think I'm not.
3. How do you feel about the person you kissed last?
They're super neat-o.
4. Do you regret doing anything in the past week?
Nah.
5. When was the last time you had alcohol?
Awhile ago.
6. Are you a partier?
Not really.
7. Are you gay?
Nope.
8. What do you think of when you hear the word "slut"?
stupid girls.
9. Do you have a dirty mind?
Not compared to most people, but it's a little dirty.
10. Would you ever work as a stripper if it were the only available job for you?
Probably not.
11. Have you been pressured to do anything recently?
Yes.
12. Who's the sweetest person you know right now?
Tim, duh.
13. How do you feel about the person who posted this before you?
He's a pretty kool kid.
14. Do you know anyone with a serious illness? Who?
Umm.
15. Do you like your name?
Not really.
16. Is anyone interested in you right now?
Maybe.
17. Who is the fifth text in your inbox from? what does it say?
No oneeee.
18. What's your favorite number?
19.21.
19. Would you ever cross-dress?
Like everyday,
20. Do you have a Facebook?
Yeaah.
23. When was the last time you went to the movies?
I don't remember.
24. Are you a good speller?
I'm alright at it.
25. What's your worst habit?
Biting my nails, itching.
26. Are you listening to any music? What song?
No.
27. Would you ever give your number out over the internet?
If I knew theeemm.
28. What's your shoe size?
Huge.
29. Do you still talk to the person you last had a thing with?
I've only had a thing with one person.
30. Do you love someone?
Mah Bay-bee.
31. Have you ever lost a person you loved?
Yeah.
32. What would you do if you found out your ex is engaged?
I don't have an ex.
34. Would you rather feel pain or be numb?
I don't know.
35. Favorite color?
green! and yellow!
36. Do you like competition?
Ahaha, no.
37. Would you ever stay with someone, just because you didn't want to break their heart?
Probably not.
38. Have you ever taken anyone/anything for granted?
Yeaahh.
39. Do you hate being alone?
Not all the time.
40. Has anyone ever broken your heart?
Maybe.
41. Do you still love them with all the little pieces?
Ahaha, no.
42. Who was the last person to send you a message?
I don't knowww.
43. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
Matt's house a pretty long time ago.
44. Where was the last place you went shopping?
Value world.
45.How do you feel about your hair?
It needs to be cut. I don't know what to do with it.
46.Want to kick anyone's booty!??
Stupid people.
47. Last time you were hugged?
Mondaayyy.
48.AIM or MSN?
AIM.
49.Last restaurant you went to?
Leo's.
50. what kind of car do you drive?
An old one.
Friday, August 24, 2007
I'm no good at art. I'm no good at anything really. I haven't found anything in my nineteen years of living that I'm remotely good at. Nothing that anyone would want to be good at anyways. I'm good at being a mean, sensitive, bitch. Other than that I pretty much have nothing though. I have no clue why I decided it would be such a fantastic idea for me to become an art teacher. I suppose it's because that was the only career I found that was fitting. Not that it fits, because I can't do art, so who am I kidding? I think it's funny that when I tell people that I want to become an art teacher it's always like, "oh hey, yeah, I see you doing that." Why is that? Just because I have the same sort of loopy personality as most art teachers? Shouldn't there also be some need for talent along with it? Because I don't have any. I think that for some crazy reason I thought if I started to pursue this career that the talent would magically come with it, but it hasn't, and it won't. The problem is, I don't have anything else. I have nothing. Nothing I'm good at. It seems like after awhile everyone finds something that they have talent with. Either that or they at least have a good personality, or good looks. I don't have any of that. I got stuck being a talentless, ugly, bitch.
I don't know what to do now. I have no clue what I want to be. I don't really have the capabilities to do anything is seems.
All I want to do is travel a bunch with my baby [and do a lot of other things]. I want him to be happy. I just hope he's happy as long as he's with me. I need him and I care about him oodles.
I guess I'm done with my negativity and corny lovey-dovey mush.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
6:54PM
When I think about the fact that summers almost over, it seems like it was way too short. I guess it wasn't all too short though, however I didn't really do much of anything. That's okay though I suppose. When I think about summer it seems like I just think about the past 7 months. Like summer started 7 months ago, probably because it seems like that's when things started to get better. I suppose they sort of got better and worse at the same time though. Maybe it's just me, but a lot of people seem to be...rather idiotic now. Oh well. I didn't hang out with many people this summer. I don't really like trying to make an effort to see people. I always think that if they want to see me enough, they'd call me. [I suppose I should realize that works both ways though, anyways] Lately I got sick of doing nothing though so I've began trying to make new/more/better friends and it's been working pretty well. I always notice that theres a few moments right when I start hanging out with new people that it's weird, but it goes away soon enough. Adventuring in woods is a lot more exciting then it would seem.
I'm sort of afraid for everyone to leave for school though. I started hanging out with Derek and Matt and little, but Derek left for school already. This year seems like it's going to be harder than last year because I had a lot of friends still in high school and a lot of people went to community college...but now it seems like most of my close friends will be going away. Holly will be at State and it's going to be weird not to have her around a lot, wah. Kris will be close, so hopefully I'll make it out to eastern to see her. Dans moving, which is poopy. It's weird because we never hung out much but I still considered him a really good friend, because he is. Tim will still be here though, which is really good, because I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see him a lot. I'm really needy, ahaha.
I don't know why I'm writing in here, I'm really bored.
I'm sort of sad I don't really write down what I do much. I never remember stuff well, and if I don't remember it now, how will I remember when I'm older? Oh yeah, I won't.
I want to loose weight. I always say that though. I should try to actually do it this time though because I've gotten to be pretty plump.
I guess I'm gonna go read now, actually maybe friends is on.
Oh, lately I've been sleeping a lot. It's weird. I wake up and eat and lay in my bed and turn on the t.v. and just watch it and fall asleep. I'm not like depressed. I just never have energy. I should start taking my vitamins again. Yeah, I think I'll go do that right now.
Okay, well, bye.
Friday, July 13, 2007
1. The phone rings, who do you want it to be?
Timmy! or Krissy or Hollsberry or anyone really. I like phone calls. Even if I hate talking on the phone.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes.
3. If you had to kiss the last person you kissed, would you?
Of course.
4. Do you take compliments well?
They normally make me awkward.
5. Do you play Sudoku?
Umm, no.
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness would you survive?
Maybe.
7. If your house were on fire, what would be the first thing you would save?
Ah-Bobo.
8. Who was the last person you slept in the bed with?
Ah-baybee.
what happened to 9?
7 ate 9.
BAHAHAHA.
10. Favorite children's book?
I don't know. I really like Fairy Tales, but I don't know if that counts.
11. Eye color?
Blue or something.
12. How tall are you?
5'5.5" hahah.
13. If you could do it over again, start from scratch, would you?
Probably.
14. Any secret admirers?
Everyone, duh.
15. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Valentines day! =)
16. Favorite ex..?
I don't have any, and I don't plan too.
17. Where was the furthest place you traveled?
London.
18. Do you like mustard?
I love it!
19. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Depends on which one I want more.
21. Do you miss anyone?
Mhmm
22. Can you do splits?
Nah.
23. What movie do you want to see right now?
I don't really know. Something I haven't seen before. The Fountain.
24. What did you do for New Year's Eve?
Had the most amazing time of my life dancing with old people and frenchin' some cute boy.
25. Do you think The Grudge was crappy?
I never saw it.
26. Do you own a camera phone?
Nope.
27. Was your mom a cheerleader?
I don't think so.
28. What's the last letter of your middle name?
N.
29. Are you hispanic?
Why is this a question?
30. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
I haven't been getting that many lately.
31. Do you like care bears?
I used to be obessed with them. Now they remade them and they're not as cute.
32. What do you buy at the Movies?
My ticket.
33. Do you know how to play poker?
Yeah, but I haven't played in forever so I'm probably terrible.
34. Do you wear your seatbelt?
Yeah.
35. What do you wear to bed?
Some form of P.J.s
36. Anything big ever happen in your CITY?
Umm.
37. Is your hair straight or curly?
Dumb.
38. Is your tongue pierced?
No.
39. Do you like Liver and Onions?
I've never had it.
40. Do you like funny or serious people better?
Funny.
41. Ever been to L.A.?
Nope.
42. What is on your mind right now?
My eyes and head hurt.
43.Any plans 4 tonight?
Nope.
44. Whats your fav. song at the moment?
I don't know.
45. Do you hate chocolate?
NO!
46. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
Ummm, I don't know.
47. Are you a gullible person?
Holy crap, yes.
48. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy?
Ummm, I didn't before, but now he's like my only friend because my other friends are d-bags. So, umm, yeah, maybe.
49. If you could have any job what would it be?
Something sweet.
50. Are you easy to get along with?
I don't know.
51. What is your favorite time of day?
I like all times of the day. I don't like waking up early, but I like it early in the morning.
52. Are you generally a happy person?
Umm, sort of.
NAME: Stacy Lynn Dawdy.
NICK NAME: Stacha.
AGE: 19.
TAKEN OR SINGLE: Engaged.
REPRESENTING (STATE): This is dumb.
WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR R U WEARING: Green.
SHOE SIZE: huge.
FAVORITE FLAVOR: Artifical banana or grape.
HAIR COLOR: Brownish.
CURRENT EMOTION: Bored.
FAVORITE FOOD: Umm, most things.
WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT THE SAME SEX: Some of them are good to talk to. I generally don't like girls though. They're sort of dumb and whores.
DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH: Crush soda? no.
CELEBRITY CRUSH: Bug Hall, duh.
PET NAMES: Bobo.
AGE LIMIT FOR THE OPPOSITE SEX: I don't know.
STYLE FOR OPPOSITE SEX: Ummm, Tim Scott.
HEIGHT FOR OPPOSITE SEX: 6 footish, 6'2" on a good day.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: =)
LOVE OR LUST: Love.
TICKLISH SPOT: Everywhere.
WHERE DO YOU LIKE GETTING KISSED: Pooter. Jk.
DO YOU DRINK: Sometimes.
DO YOU SMOKE: No.
DO YOU DO DRUGS (ANY TYPE): No.
SNEAK OUT THE HOUSE: Nope.
THROW PARTYS: No.
STEAL: Nope.
HUSTLE: No.
BEEN SUSPENDED: Nope.
BEEN TO COURT: Yes.
BEEN IN JAIL: No.
SMILE OR LAUGH: Laugh.
EYES OR LIPS: Eyes.
GOLD OR SILVER: Umm, Silver.
MONEY OR LOVE: Love.
FRIENDS OR FAMILY: Bb.
MUSIC OR COMPUTER: Music?
FAME OR RESPECT: Respectfully famous.
CANDY OR SODA: Hmmm, soda.
WINTER OR SUMMER: Sum-ah!
BEACH OR POOL: I like both.
REVENGE OR FORGIVE: Depends.
BEST GIRL FRIEND: Holly or Krissy.
FRIEND THAT YOU CAN COUNT ON: A very small number.
FRIEND THAT COMES OVER A LOT: Umm, Holly.
FRIEND THAT WOULD FIGHT FOR YOU: I fight my own battles.
FRIEND THAT EATS A LOT: I don't know.
RUDE FRIEND: Most of my friends are pretty rude.
FUNNY FRIEND: All of them.
LOVABLE FRIEND: All the good ones.
WHO LAST CALLED YOU: Tim.
WHO DID YOU CALL LAST: Kris.
LAST HUGGED: Tim.
DO YOU REGRET ANY THING: Maybe.
DAY DREAM OR PAY ATTENTION: Day dream.
COLOGNE OR SPRAY (AXE ,TAG ETC): Umm.
1. whats your middle name?
Lynn
2. what grade are you in?
2nd year of college.
3.what color's your hair?
Brownish.
4. do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
HMM!
5. how many brothers do you have?
1
6.how many sisters?
0
7. do you like anyone right now?
bb.
8.nerd/jock/or band?
Ahahahha.
9.whats your favorite flower?
All flowers are pretty sweet.
10. what color is your cell phone?
Dark Blue.
11. if you could pick anywhere to go where would you go?
Everywhere!
12.football/basketball/baseball/track/lacrosse/swimming?
13. how many people are at your house right now?
3.
14. whats your best school subject?
I don't know.
15.Are your parents still married?
Yes.
16.Do you hate your cousins?
Umm, I don't hate them but I don't really like them.
17. whats your two favorite colors?
Green and Yellow.
18. what colors are in your room?
Green and Blue.
19.whens your birthday?
2/19/88
20.Do you like Jesse McCartney or Aaron Carter?
Aaron Carter!
21.Whats your favorite restaurant?
Olive Garden and Wong express are both pretty dope.
22. Where do you work?
Nowhere.
24.does your family own a business?
Nope.
25. what do you wanna be when you grow up?
An art teacher maybe.
26. where were you born?
Here.
27. what mean girl do you most resemble?
I don't know.
28.whats the last movie you watched?
Dot the i.
29. have you ever owned a horse?
Ahaha, no.
30. do you hang out with boys or girls more?
I don't know.
31. do you know who the pope is?
Do you?
32.have you ever been hunting?
Ahah, no.
33. do you have an ipod?
No.
34. do people think your dumb?
Yes.
35. would people say your a flirt?
I don't know.
36.what kind of dog(s) do you own?
None.
37.lefty or righty?
Right.
38. do you know how much of a tip a waiters supposed to get?
Yes.
39. love or lust?
Love.
40.kisses or hugs?
Both!
41.Abortion?
No.
42.internet or phone?
I don't know. Depends who it's with I guess.
43. camping or hotel?
Both.
44.bestfriends or family?
BSN.
45. boys/girls or friends?
what?
46. no electricity or no privacy?
Gosh, I don't know.
47. pool or ocean?
Ahh.
48. pen or pencil?
Pen.
49. what month of the year?
June, I guess. I like them all.
50. what season?
Summer.
51. how many kids?
3298492834.
52. married?
Yep.
53. big house?
I don't know.
54. work?
I need to.
55. college?
Yeah.
56. car?
Wah.
59. adoption?
Maybe.
60. soccer mom?
hahaha.
61.blondes are dumb?
You're dumb.
62. blondes have more fun?
WTF.
63. people call you dumb?
Mhmm.
64. you like everyone?
AHAHAHA.
65. your jealous of people?
Sometimes.
67. what sports?
Dodgeball.
68. you love your family?
KSDJF.
69. you like shopping?
if I have the money.
70. current mood?
bored.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Saturday, May 5, 2007
1:48PM
LAYER 1:
Spell your name with bands/artists-
S Samantha Mumba. [AHAHAH]
T Taking Back Sunday.
A Architecture in Helsinki.
C Copeland.
Y Yo La Tengo.
LAYER 2:
-- Name- Stacy.
-- Birthdate- 02.19.88
-- Nicknames- None.
-- Current Location- Extra room
-- Eye color- Blue-grey-green-yellow.
-- Height- 5'6"
-- Righty or Lefty- Right.
LAYER 3:
-- Shoes you wore today- None.
-- Perfect pizza- Thin crust cheese.
-- Best physical feature- teef.
-- Most missed memory- There's a few.
LAYER 4:
-- Pepsi or Coke- Pepsi.
-- Adidas or Nike- I don't care.
-- Chocolate or Vanilla-- Depends.
-- Cappuccino or coffee- Either.
LAYER 5:
-- Do you sing- Sometimes.
-- Do you think you will go to college- I am going to college.
-- Get motion sickness- Sometimes.
-- Think you're a health freak- Nope.
-- Get along with your parents- Sometimes.
-- Play an instrument- I haven't in along time, but bassoon and piano.
-- Last received call- I don't know
-- Last missed call- I don't know.
-- Last dialed call- Probably Tim.
LAYER 6:
In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol- Hmm.
-- Gone to the mall- Nope.
-- Kissed someone- Yep.
-- Eaten a whole box of Oreos- Nah.
-- Eaten Sushi- Nope.
-- Been on stage- No.
-- Made homemade cookies- Nope.
-- Stolen anything- Nope.
LAYER 7:
Have you ever...
-- Lied about your age- I don't think so.
-- Used a fake ID- Nope.
-- Kissed the opposite sex- Yeah.
-- Told the opposite sex "i love you"- mmhmm.
-- Did you mean it- duuur.
LAYER 8:
#s...
-- Favorite # - 19/21.
-- # of children- 0.
-- # of siblings- 1.
-- # of friends- a pretty good amount.
-- # of best friends- A few.
-- # of people you could trust with your life- I don't know.
-- # of CDs you own- A lot.
-- # of piercings- 0.
-- # of tattoos- 0.
LAYER 9:
In the opposite sex...
-- Best eye color- I like hazely-brown and green.
-- Best hair color- dark brown
-- Short/long hair- Mullet....umm I don't really care.
-- Favorite physical feature- Eyes and smile.
LAYER 10:
Current...
-- Relationship- is amazing.
-- Crush- is a type of soda.
-- Hair style- is gross.
-- Make-up- is a day old.
-- Phone- is retarded.
-- Weather- is sorta cloudy.
-- Mood- is alright.
-- Why this mood- I guess because I haven't been up very long and I haven't really done anything.
What do you drink with dinner?: Water.
What do you dip a chicken nugget in?: I don't really eat chicken.
What is your favorite type of food/cuisine? Chinese/Mexican.
What movies could you watch over and over and still love?: I don't know.
Were you in sports in high school? Band, ahahaha. jk.
Were you a boy/girl scout? Yes, I was a boy/girl scout.
When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?: A long time ago.
Ever gotten a speeding ticket?: Nope.
Ran out of gas? Nope.
Favorite kind of sandwich?: I dunno.
Best thing to eat for breakfast?: I'm currently eating chocolate cake, chocolate covered pretzels and soda for breakfast. It's not the best thing though, I feel sort yucky now.
What is your usual bedtime?: I don't really have a usual time.
Are you lazy?: Sort of.
Are you an introvert or an extrovert?: Both.
What's your favorite mixed drink?: I like inventing new drinks at soda machines.
When you were a kid what did you dress up as for halloween? Cow, Clown, Witch, Lambchop, etc.
Do you read the newspaper?: Nope.
How many languages can you speak? 1.05
Do you have any magazine subscriptions? No.
Is Fabio ugly?: Ahahhahaha, ummmm, he's weird.
Which are better Legos or Lincoln Logs? Oh geez, legos.
Red wine or white wine?: I don't know.
Are you stubborn?: Yes, more so with certain people.
Who is better...Leno or Letterman?: I don't care.
Watch a soap opera?: Ahahah, no, but I should.
Afraid of heights?: Yes.
Sing in the car?: mhmmm.
Dance in the shower?: Ahaha, not really.
Dance in the car?: Sort of.
Ever used a gun?: B-b and rubber band style.
Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?: Senior pics.
Are musicals cheesy?: They're awesome.
Is Christmas stressful?: Not really.
Ever eat a pierogie?: Ummm, love.
Favorite type of fruit pie?: I don' know, all of them. I'm fat, remember?
Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?: Rock star.
Do you believe in ghosts?: Yes.
Ever have a Dejavu feeling?: Nope, not really.
Take a vitamin daily? Yeah, but sometimes I forget.
Wear slippers?: When my feet get super cold.
Wear a bath robe?: I wish.
What do you wear to bed?: Pjs.
First concert?: Aerosmith.
Any tattoos?: 0.
Wal-Mart, Target or K-Mart?: Target or Wal-mart.
Nike or Adidas?: Whatever.
Fritos or Cheetos?: Probably Cheetos.
Corn nuts or sunflowers seeds?: Neither.
Ever heard of "gorp?": Nope.
Ever take dance lessons?: Ballet.
Is there a profession that you picture your perfect future spouse to have? Badass.
Can you curl your tongue?: No.
Ever won a spelling bee?: Nah.
Have you ever cried because you were so happy?: Yeah.
5 words that describe you?: Eww, I don't like doing stuff like this. Emotional, negative, sarcastic, weird, annoying.
Own any record albums?: I have one, The postal service.
Own a record player?: Jason has one, but I don't think it works anymore.
Regularly burn incense?: Nope.
Ever been in love?: =)
Who would you really like to see in concert?: Alk3, Mates of State.
Hot tea or iced tea?: ICED TEA!
Tea or coffee?: Mmmm, coffee.
Favorite kind of cookie?: Peanut butter, oatmeal w/ choc chip.
Can you swim well? Sort of.
Can you hold your breath w/o manually holding your nose?: Yes.
Ever had braces or a mouth piece?: Yes.
Are you artistic?: I wish.
Are you patient?: Not really.
DJ or band, at a wedding?: Probably band.
Ever won a contest?: I don't think so.
Have plastic surgery?: Nope.
Which are better, black or green olives? I like both.
Can you knit or crochet? Not really.
Best room for a fireplace?: All of them.
Want to get married?: Yes.
1. What is a question that people ask you that always gets on your nerves?
" What do you want to do?"/"Where should we go?"
2. Name something you have in common with all your siblings.
We have the same parents, duur.
3. What is the greatest amount of physical pain you have ever endured?
I don't know. I guess cramps, I'm such a girl.
4. What number of drinks constitutes your limit?
I don't know, I never get close so I guess I'm okay.
5. Do you fold your underwear?
Yes.
7. Have you fired a gun before?
I already answered this.
8. Name someone you consider a genius.
Everyone.
9. What was your favorite childhood toy?
Is the lake a toy? Bike, I guess.
10. Name a sound that disturbs you.
Eye gussing, styrofoam, certain dish noises, etc.
11. Name something random that you would never do.
I dunno.
12. Name a person whose diary you would love to read.
I don't know. Someone interesting.
13. Have you ever had the same dream more than once?
Yes.
14. Name something that makes you happy.
People, sometimes. Music.
15. Name something that made you laugh today.
I don't think I've laughed yet.
16. If you were in an emergency situation and you had to deliver a baby, could you do it?
Probably not.
17. What is on your refrigerator door?
I don't know. Magnets. Post Cards. I guess I do know.
18. Name the closest thing to you that is green.
Frosting.
19. If someone who didn't know you had to guess your name, what do you think it would be?
Apperently I am very "Stacy"ish. So they might guess it.
20. Name something you have to do tomorrow.
Live.
21. Name a movie you are looking forward to watching?
Indian in the Cupboard/Free Willy.
22. Have you ever called 911?
Yes, deery.
23. Name something you've heard about women that tends to be true?
Most girls are weird.
24. Do You Own An iPod?
Nope.
25. What Was The Last Movie You Watched?
American History X.
26. Do Any Of Your Friends Have Children?
I don't think so.
27. What CD Is Currently In Your Cd Player?
I think Tegan & Sarah and Mates of State.
28. Do You Prefer Regular Or Chocolate Milk?
Chocolate.
29. Has Anyone Told You A Secret This Week?
Yes.
30. When Was The Last Time You Had Starbucks?
A while ago.
31. Can You Whistle?
Yes.
32. Do You Have A Trampoline In Your Back Yard?
I used to.
33. Do You Think People Talk About You Behind Your Back?
Yes.
34. What Movie Do You Know Every Line To?
10 Things I hate about you, 28 Days, and probably some others.
38. Would You Ever Date Anyone Covered In Tattoos?
Maybe.
39. What Did You Do Before This?
Woke up.
40. When Was The Last Time You Slept On The Floor?
A few weeks ago.
41. How Many Hours Of Sleep Do You need to function?
More than normal.
42. Are You Picky About Spelling And Grammar?
Sort of.
43. Do You Get Along Better With The Same Sex Or The Opposite?
Opposite probably, even though I have more friends of the same sex. Girls are sort of dumb and dramatic.
44. Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
All.
45. Do You Watch The News?
No.
46. Who Was The Last Person To Make You Mad?
It's been awhile since I was really mad at one person. It's normally a lot of things that make me mad.
47. Name one place you would rather be right now?
A BAY-BEE.
48. Do you feel alone?
Sometimesss.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Sunday, April 8, 2007
69 Questions to Start Spring.
1. Are you in a relationship?
=)
2. If no, would you like to be?
3. would you go out with your ex?
I don't have an ex. [and I don't plan on having one anytime soon]
4. What is your favorite candy bar?
Ummmm, like any, I really bad at deciding this. I'm a fat kid, so, like, all.
5. What are your favorite shoes?
The ones that got stolen.
6. Have you ever tripped going up steps?
Yeah, infact I often walk on all fours upstairs to prevent this.
7. Where did you go on vacation last summer?
Upnorth.
8. Would you bungee jump?
Probably not.
9. Do you own a Fall Out Boy CD?
Nope.
10. Do you like amusement parks?
Yes, except I tend to not like the mass crowds of people.
11. Do you ride rollercoasters?
Yes!
12. What is your current favorite CD?
I don't think I have one.
13. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
No.
14. When was the last time you were in the ocean?
Ummm, 3 years ago.
15. Do you like flowers?
I looove them.
16. Would you kiss someone of the same sex?
Yes.
17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
MMM, there's a few.
18. Are you sarcastic?
Probably too much.
19. Is there anything you can't wait for this summer?
Summer in general.
21. Socks and sandals?
Barefeettt.
22. Who was the last person to go to the movies with you?
Tim, Holly, Kacee.
23. What's one thing you really hope to do this spring?
I don't know.
24. Do you like to go Mini-Golfing?
I get sort of angry.
25. Are you moving this spring?
I'm supposed to.
26. Are you going to be starting a new job this spring?
I have to.
27. Have you ever slapped someone?
Yeah.
28. did you get poison ivy?
Nope.
29. You plan on going camping next summer?
Yes.
31. Favorite pizza topping?
Cheese.
32. Pants or shorts?
Jeans.
33. How often do you visit MySpace?
I don't know.
34. Do you use chopsticks?
Nope.
35. What's the last movie you watched?
Mrs. Doubtfire.
36. Are you currently fighting with anyone?
I don't think so.
37. Are you too forgiving?
I don't know. I think sometimes I'm too forgiving and other times I'm not forgiving enough.
38. How many pets do you have?
A bunny.
39. Own any clothing from Hot Topic?
Probably.
40. What's your favorite breakfast food?
Everything.
41. Where was the last place you drove?
School.
43. Where will you be in 24 hours?
Probably here.
44. What did you do 3 nights ago?
Lost my stuff every 2 seconds.
45. Last time you went to a fancy restaurant?
I don't know what's "fancy"
46. Last thing you bought?
I honestly don't remember.
47. Have you ever been in a foreign country, if so where?
England, Bahamas.
48. Anywhere you want to go?
Everywhere.
49. What's michigan?
What kind of question is this.
50. What have you done today?
School, death.
51. Are you thinking of someone right now?
Mmmmhmmm.
53. Have you ever thrown something out of a moving car?
Yeah.
54. Do you eat salad?
Mmmm.=)
55. Would you date someone who smoked cigarettes?
No.
56. Are you happy with your life right now?
Yeah.
57. What's the last thing you ate?
Sandwiiccch.
58. What's the next place you have to go?
I have to get gas before I can go anywhere.
59. How many hours do you usually sleep per night?
I dunno.
60. What's the next important date on your calendar?
I don't know if there is one.
61. Who was the last 5 people to call you?
I don't know.
62. McDonald's or Burger King?
Death.
63. Who last text messaged you?
-
65. Do you like to quote things?
No, not really.
66. Are you afraid of the dark?
Yeah.
67. Do you exercise regularly?
Nope.
68. What is the most expensive thing you ever bought?
Je suis pas.
69. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping, homework.
1. Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
Umm, probably no one.
2. Who do you blame for your mood today?
Sickness.
3. When's the last time you were sad?
I'm not all to peppy today
4. How many people can you count on?
A few.
5. How long do you think you will live?
I guess we'll see.
6. What was the first thing you did this morning?
Fell back asleep.
7. Last person you went out to dinner with?
I think Erin and Laura?
8. Are you spoiled?
Sort of.
9. Do you drink lots of water?
Yes.
10. What toothpaste do you use?
Rx
11. How do you vent your anger?
Waah.
12. What are you doing this weekend?
I dunno.
13. Is your best friend a virgin?
Yes.
14. What theme does your room have?
Umm, I'm like 6 years old.
15. Are you a mama's child or a daddy's child?
Dadda.
16. Would you ever join the military?
Umm, no.
17. Last website you visited?
Umm.
18. Who was the last person you took a picture with?
Harrison
19. Last person you went to the movies with?
Tim, Holly, Kacee.
20. What did you do you do for your birthday this year?
Homework.
21. Would you donate your body to science?
Maybe.
22. Is anything alive in your room?
Nope.
23. Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
Forward.
PART II
last person you:
1. saw: Momma.
2. talked on the phone with: Erin.
3. IMed: Marie.
4. messaged over myspace: Laura?
5. ate with: I dunno, Tim.
today:
1. wearing:Pjs.
2. better than yesterday:A little
3. what are you doing today: Nothing, school, sleep, being sick.
4. dislikes about today: Sickness
5. dislikes about tomorrow: School/HW
currently:
1. are you missing someone right now: Alwayzzz
2. mood: Cough, sniff, die.
3. wanting: To feel well, and certain people.
Q&A:
Q: what do you need right now?
A: School to be over.
Q: what's bothering you right now?
A: Umm, being sick and schoo.
Q: where is the last place you went?
A: WCC
Q: who do you look like: mom or dad?
A: Both.
Q: do you have any siblings?
A: Jason.
Q: do you smile often?
A:Probably not as much as I should
Q: do you think that a person is thinking of you?
A: What person?
Q: do you wish upon stars?
A: Sort of.
Q: are you a friendly person?
A: I try to be, but I think I come off as a bitch a lot.
Q: what color shirt are you wearing?
A: Blu.
Q: what were you doing at 12 last night?
A: Sleeping, or close to it.
Q: when was the last time you cried?
A: I dunno.
Q: do you get angry easily?
A: Yes.
Q: what are you about to do?
A: Watch Friends, lie in bed.
Q: do you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?
A: Yes.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
8:32PM
I don't know were to start, and I don't know why I'm writing this.
I don't like to expose my feelings often, but for some reason I do it, and I always use the same lame method.
I tell a computer screen I'm angry and upset and don't know if this is right.
So, I'll do it again because it's what I'm comfortable with.
I guess I'll start out telling you what you already know.
You might know it from experience or because you've heard me say it before:
I have a knack for getting really close to people, being really clingy, then pushing them away.
Well, either I push them away or they get sick of me.
Another thing you might know is that I get upset rather easily about the smallest things, then they explode into something much more big.
I do this often and as much as I wish I could help it, I can't.
It's simply the way I am.
I find myself doing that a lot recently.
I get angry, stressed and upset.
I cry about ridiculous things.
I can't sleep.
I can't even talk to the people who upset me,
even though they quite often are the closest people to my heart.
When I find myself opening up, I find myself being shot down.
I tell you everything about myself, my life, in detail.
You give me a summary in just a few words.
I try to show you I care, I'm constantly trying to show you.
It seems the times you only try to show me you care are a small few.
You should be able to guess when these moments are.
I try to involve you in most every aspect of my life,
but hardly ever see you doing the same.
When I want to see you, I find that I must go to great length's to do so at times.
However, given that someone else might want to see you, you're so much more accessible.
Then I realize maybe you don't want this.
The constant phone calls with a full review of my day.
Maybe you don't want to hang out with my friends.
Maybe I'm too clingy.
[Actually, I know I am.]
and you apparently don't want me to be as involved in your life as I might want.
You seem to think that I should be able to talk to you when things like this bug me.
I can't.
You can tell when things get like this,
but you show no sign that you actually care.
It's when I'm not with you that I realize how much this doesn't seem to work.
How much it doesn't feel right.
At the same time I can't imagine my life without you.
I can't imagine myself this close to anyone else.
I'm not lying when I try to tell you how much I care,
but I probably am lying when I say I'm fine.
[But you know that.]
I could keep going on like this,
but I feel so negative.
This isn't as bad as it probably seems.
On another note:
I've come in contact with a great old friend the past few days.
We've had a pretty bumpy road over the past four months.
I feel like things will be better from now on though.
I managed to talk, even though I felt I said too much.
I was afraid of making things worse,
but I think they're improving.
I only hope you can open up to me as much as I feel I have you.
You're one of my favorite people I know,
and golly have I missed you!
=)
Saturday, March 31, 2007
1:11PM
I'm really bored, so I'm gonna do surveyyssssssss. Yippie.
(I don't give a woot if you really do this) If you have been tagged in this, write the names down of the last 21 people that wrote on your wall (no repeats), and then answer the questions. After doing this, tag your 21 friends to do the same:
(oh and p.s. i did this a few hours ago and my wall has been updated, as in ash isn't the first anymore, but she was when i filled this out. bitches.)
1. Neil Lawhead
2. Holly Preston
3. Kris Kopek
4. Laura Miele
5. Julie Stefan
6. Kelly Johnson
7. Tim Scott
8. Colleen Ames
9. Avanthi Jayasuriya
10. Chelsea Bissell
11. Brooke Nanna
12. Luke Carron
13. Madie Knebel
14. Jessica Rozek
15. Harrison Miracle
16. Sarah Rozek
17. Amanda Porter
18. Nicole Madigan
19. Monica Lesher
20. Matt Harris
21. Claira Robinson
*How did you meet 7?
Through friends I guess.
*What would you do if you had never met 18?
Not have done a lot of really awesome things.
*What would you do if you dated 20?
Umm, I don't know? Be pregnant?
*Have you ever seen 17 cry?
I don't think so.
*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?
I think Laura and Sarah would be a great couple!
*Describe 19:
She's a lot of fun to be around and is hilarous and like good movies and music, but we have a lot of times when we don't seem to really get along.
*Do you like 13?
Madie is by far one of the coolest and nicest girls I have ever met! I just want to squeeze her when I see her.
*Do you think 21 is attractive?
Duh.
*When was the last time you talked to 9?
I think a few weeks ago.
*Would you ever date 2?
I date Holly everyday of my life.
*Where does 15 live?
Off of Buno rd.
*What is the best thing about 4?
Basically, everything. I love her more than most people I've ever met.
*What would you like to tell 10 right now?
That we need to get together and talk about some....personal things, wahahaha.
*What is the best thing about 20?
A lot of things. I probably couldn't pick one. He's smart, and nice, and funny.
*Have you ever kissed 18?
Perhaps, probably on the cheek or something.
*What’s the best memory you have of 5?
I have a lot of good memories of Julie from way back when. Ahh, gosh, I don't know. I can think of Activity nights that stand out, and the hc parade, and the picnic, and her and her cry pillow, and hanging out with her and Alexa....oh gosh! I need to see her sooN!
*When’s the next time you’re going to see 12?
I really don't know.
*Is 3 pretty?
Ummm, duh, like I'd french her.
*What was your first impression of 15?
I don't really remember, probably that hes hilarious.
*How did you meet 2?
The awesomest way ever! We sort of knew each other from friends....but not really, then one day I was like "Holly wanna go visit Alexa at state?" and she said yes! and came to my house and picked me up! and we were so excited and weird and it was awesome! and it took us like 3 hours to get to state because everytime we go there we get lost. So, we weren't too excited when we got there, but it was still amazing! and I love her!
*Is 12 your best friend?
Umm, not really.
*Have you seen 6 in the last month?
I saw her walk into a store but I didn't actually talk to her.
*When was the last time you saw 16?
Wow, I don't know. Oh gosh, I need too!
*Have you been to 9’s house?
Yes! it's really nice and pretty and I like it!
*When’s the next time you’ll see 10?
Sometime when she gets home from Vacation w/ her Bf, since we need to talk about...things. *cough* ahahahhaaha.
*Are you really close to 6?
Not really.
*Have you been to the movies with 11?
Yes.
*Would you give 13 a hug?
Ummm, yes! Did you not read the thing about how I want to hug her every second I see her?! COME ON!
*When have you lied to 17?
Nah.
*Do you know a secret about 8?
Maybe.
*Describe the relationship between 12 and 19.
I don't know if they really talk now, but they know each other.
*What’s your friendship like with 1?
It's pretty sweet. He's a cool kid that makes me laugh. We're not really close though.
*Have you ever danced with 14?
Probably in some weird way.
*How long have you known 13?
A few years, but we're not really close, but we should be!
*Does 11 have a bf/gf?
I honestly don't know.
*Have you ever wanted to punch 17 in the face?
Hahahaha, not really, but I did push her in a pool once.
*Has 21 met your mother?
Nope.
*How did you meet 10?
In 7th grade through Laura! We used to pretend to be spies/Charlies Angels when we'd go get lunch! AWESOME!
*Have you traveled anywhere with 8?
Tennesse! and some other places probably! Band camp? hahah.
*If you gave 2 $100, what would he/she spend it on?
Cloths! Ahah!
*What is your best memory of 19?
Oh my gosh, theres a lot! Local shows, movies nights, trips, concerts, ridiculous things. Gosh, we are cool.
Name: StayC
Sisters: 0
Brothers: 1
Eye Color: Blue/Grey/Green
Shoe size: 10/11
Height: 5'6"?
what are you wearing right now: PJS! because I'm lazy.
Where do you live: Brighton.
Best place to go for a date: I don't know, somewhere fun.
Favorite Number: 19/21
Favorite Drink: Iced Tea.
Favorite Month: OH gooosh. June/July
Favorite Breakfast: Chocolate chip pancakes!
***********Have You Ever*****************
Bungee jumped: Noope.
Made yourself throw-up? Sort of, to make myself feel better.
Gone skinny dipping? Yes.
Loved someone so much it made you cry? It could, it hasn't yet.
Broken a bone: Nope.
Played Truth or Dare: Ummm, duh.
Been in a police car: Maybe.
Been on a plane: Yeahz.
Came close to dying: Yes.
Been in a sauna: Yeah.
Been in a hot tub: Yes.
Swam in the ocean: Yes. [Ahaha I hate these questions]
Fallen asleep in school: Not since High School.
Broken someone's heart: I don't think so, maybe.
Cried when someone died: Yes.
Cried in school: Eww, yes.
Fell off your chair: Most likely.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: Probably, I'm lame like that.
Saved an AIM conversation: Yes, actually I do that a lot.
Saved e-mails: From along time ago.
Been cheated on: Ummm, I don't think so.
**********What is-****************
Your room like: It's pretty nice. It looks like a 6-year-olds room, but I like it. It's cozy and makes you want to sleeeeep.
whats right beside you? Papers, remote.
What is the last thing you ate: I ate one dorito then decided that I didn't want them.
--------------------------Ever Had- -------------------------------
Chicken pox: Yes.
Sore throat: Oh my gosh, yes.
Stiches: From when I had my wisdom teeth out.
Broken nose: No.
-------------------------Do You------------------------------------
Believe in love at first sight: Not "love," but other things.
Like picnics: Yes! they are the most fun!
Like school: Umm, no.
Like anything: No, I hate everything.
PSYCH! [Ahahaha, I am so lame.]
------------------------Questions----------------------------------------
Who was the last person who called you: Erin!
Who was the last person you danced with: I think Dan? in Tobys kitchen.
Who makes you smile: A lot of people! =)
--------------------------Who---------------------------------------------
Did you last yell at: Tim most likely.
Do you like filling these out: This one is sort of dumb. They're okay to pass time. Except I don't really need to pass time. I need more time. I'm wasting time.
Do you wear contact lenses or glasses: Glasses.
Do you like yourself: Sometimes.
---------------------Final Questions---------------------------
What are you listening to right now: I'm watching "While you were sleeping" only I'm not paying attention at all, but I've seen it 93289482 times so it's okay.
What did you do today? ahah, I've only been up an hour.
Hated someone in your family? Sort of.
What car do you wish to have? I really like vibes for some reason.
Where do you want to get married?: I don't knoowwwwww.
Good driver: I'm slowly getting worse and worse, and lately I have incredibly road rage.
Good singer: Ahahaha, no,
Diamond or pearl: Both are okay, probably pearls though.
Are you oldest: Youngest.
Indoors or outdoors: Outdoors!
----------------------------Today did you------------------------------
1. Talk to someone you like: Not really. I haven't talked to anyone but my Mom and Jason yet.
2. Buy something: Nope.
3. Get sick: Nope.
4. Sing: Not yet.
5. Talked to an ex: I don't have any.
6. Miss someone: Yesssss.
----------------------------Last person who---------------------------
7. Was in your bed: Holly?
8. Saw you cry? I'm good at crying and people not noticing. I cried a few days ago but I don't think anyone noticed.
9. Made you cry? Worrying about something dumb/Stress.
10. Pissed you off: Probably Traffic. Traffic is the last person to piss me off. People as a whole piss me off a lot, but I also love them to! Oh gosh.
11. You went to the mall with: I haven't been to the actual mall in forever
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
16. Ever been in a fight with your pet? Bobo and I are doing pretty good lately.
17. Been to California: No, but I want to go super bad!
18. Been to Mexico: Nope.
19. Been to Canada: Nooo.
20. Been to Africa: No.
---------------------------Random------------------------------------------
21. Do you have a crush on someone: I have a crush on you, I hope you feel the way that I do. I get a rush when I'm with you. Oh, ohh I got a crush on you.
22. What books are you reading right now: Schooool books.
23. Best feeling in the world: There's a few.
24. Future kids names? I don't know.
25. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: I sleep with a duck that Tim got me.
26. What's under your bed: Suitcases, mattress pads.
27. Favorite sport to watch: I don't know.
28. Favorite location? I haven't been to enough places to decided yet.
29. Piercing/Tattoos: None.
31. What are you most afraid of right now? I don't know.
32. Who do you really hate? No one.
33. Do you have a job: Nope.
35. Have you ever liked someone you didn't have a chance with? I don't know.
37. Are you lonely right now: Not really. I wish I was with people though, but I'm not like waaaah people.
38. Song that's stuck in your head right now? "Crush" bu Mandy Moore, hahaha.
39. Have you ever played strip poker? Nope.
40. Have you ever gotten beat up? Not really.
--------------------------------Random---------------------------
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Umm, I don't know.
Your Favorite Food: Chinese, Mexican.
Have you ever cried for no reason? Probably.
Hugs or kisses? Depends on who it's from.
Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? popcooooooorn.
Do you like to travel by plane as opposed to car? I like both for different reasons. I think it'd depend on who far I was going.
How many pillows do you sleep with? 3.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
I recently have been feeling really dumb.
Literally, stupid.
It's not good.
I've been getting really angry/stressed lately.
For the most part I have nothing to be mad about.
Little things get me a lot though.
Every aspect of driving has struck me as negative lately.
I hate gas, and how ridiculous fast I go through it.
No one else can never drive, which drives me up a wall,
then people leave trash in my car, and I want to punch them in the face.
SDFKJSDFAKSDF.
Traffic is dumb and so is construction.
I like how you always have that little group of people while driving that think they are so much more important than everyone else.
So say, theres what 2 miles till the left lane ends, right?
well of course they don't merge right till the last possible second, because they think this will get them so much farther ahead of everyone else.
I hope the whole 3 cars advantage to where ever you were going really helped you.
GSDFJ.
I hate driving. I hate how time consuming it seems to take me to get anywhere now.
My road is so horrible it takes me at least five minutes to get down it.
That is if I don't get stuck behind someone who feels the need to go 5 mph down my road.
My road is probably the worst road in the world, and I'm not kidding.
I don't want to leave my house because I don't want to drive down my gosh dang road.
I realize it's ridiculous that I get this angry about stuff like this, but I do, and I can't help it...which is another thing that makes me mad....that I'm so mad about this.
Goodness gracious.
I don't like being stressed out so much, I'm going to die early because of it.
I want to be optimistic, dangit.
According to my psychology class, if I start working out..I should become happier.
I'm going to try that.
I need to work out anyways.
I just don't seem to have time to do it.
Except thats a lie because I do since I nap like 2 hours a die.
Then I can't fall asleep at night and I wonder why.
I'm a moron.
I can't wake up in the morning.
I hate my brother.
I have a bunch of homework I don't want to do.
My teachers and classes are dumb.
I'm not doing well.
I just want it to be summer.
I want people to not be lame.
I don't like a lot of people anymore.
I was a bad friend to most of my good friends. Now I find it hard to come in contact with them. I've tried to get into contact with Derek, but it didn't really work. I guess I should keep trying. I need to see Kris, Adam and Dan more too, because they are probably some of the best people I know. I don't know why I never see these people. I guess I just see the people that it's easiest to see. Not that I don't like them, but some people are getting really lame.
I should start going to church again. I miss Al.
Sorry for being so negative...
actually I'm not.
Most of you are dumb.
Bring me doritos I really want them.
Oh, and I know I'm a bitch.
[Julie, I want to see you!]
I'm trying to listen to the stuff on my mp3 player that I never have really listened to. Over the past few days I've listened to: Mates of State, Broken Social Scene, Matt Costa, Coldplay, and Copeland.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Today was so nice!
I practically peed my pants when I walked outside.
Oh gee.
So, I have a lot of homework I should be doing.
Lalalalala.
Oh! I cleaned my car today.
Mmmm.
Brand New is saturday.
I'm really excited.
It's also Erin's Birthday!
Oh gooosh.
Go to church tomorrow.
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
AWW GOsH!
I'm not actually that excited.
Ahahahahhaa,
I don't know why I did that.
Dangit,
my ear itches.
I smell weird.
Spring break was decent. It went way faster than I had hoped. Now I just need to wait till april 30th. Oh geez. I can't wait to be done with school. Over break I basically sat around. I went and saw Colleen with Erin, saw The Spill Canvas. Hmmm what else? Went to church for the first time in along time.
I don't really want to write this anymore.
I saw a bunch of people over break,
but it still wasn't good enough.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
1:49AM
I am doing horrible.
I keep crying for no damn reason.
School is stressing me out way too much.
I miss people constantly but can't do anything about it.
I already feel bad enough about not being able to see people on my own.
Then I get CRPODASDP.
FUCK.
I went to bed at 1.
Then I realized I forgot abou my damn government shit,
so now I'm trying to do that,
but I can't.
I ksdjf can't figure out what I need.
SD:FFKLDSK DAmnit.
I should just end the little social life I have left and focus on school.
Something must be wrong with me.
I can't focus for the life of me.
I can't dlgkldgk;sg do anything.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
So I was thinking lately about weird things.
like how my freshman year I was sort of really weird.
Then how my sophomore year I wore pajamas everywhere and both years I never wore make-up.
I put my hair in a pony tail everyday.
Then my junior year I started wearing jeans and band shirts and I sometimes wore make-up.
All of those 3 years I'd go to shows like at least three times a month and not local shows.
Picking out random kids and giving them nicknames.
Hugging them.
I went to local shows like every weekend.
Local shows before Nate.
Going to them with Monica and Emily.
Meeting people like little Raymond.
Being really into Punk and Ska.
Ska dancing.
Circle pits.
Being ridiculously badass.
[ahahaha]
Getting really into HxC.
My senior year, wearing make-up everyday.
Straightening my hair everyday.
Not going to many shows.
Being a douche bag.
I don't leave my house without straightening my hair now, or putting on make-up.
I'm not near as out of control/loud as I used to be.
[Which is probably hard to believe]
I've mellowed out a lot,
it's weird.
I miss big shows and getting punch in the face and thrown across floors.
What the heck happened to me.
I miss a lot of those things.
Land marks.
Hilarious car rides.
Taco bell talking trash cans.
Travis or Brad or whatever his name was.
Josh, Rambo.
Oh geez.
Whitey-tighty.
The Laundromat, pizza place, tanning, nail salon.
AHAHA.
Oh my gosh.
Tying my shoes extra well before shows, even though they normal still managed to fall off.
Shows started getting weird.
Too many stupid people.
I would get angry.
Either I was becoming a bitch,
or the crowds started sucking.
I think the artists I was listening to started to get too big.
I haven't looked for new music in awhile.
I used to search for new bands all day.
Now people are just like "hey listen to this"
I'm lame.
I miss people.
Someone should call me or something.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Today is one of those days that I wouldn't mind getting hit by a car. The type of days that I think about possible accidents that might occur. My mind makes graphic play bys of these accidents. The thought of getting in an accident to possibly make things easier is ridiculous. I have these thoughts anyways, for some reason I think lying in a hospital bed would be better than dealing with everyday life. I haven't had a day like this in awhile, not to this extent anyways. It makes me feel selfish and ungrateful, probably because I am. So much more could be going wrong, but I can't handle the tiniest bit of trouble. I can't handle traffic. I can't make discussions. I can't handle the fact that I actually think things are bad. They're not bad in the least, not if you compare it to the things happening in the rest of the world. This realization always makes things worse. Then I'm mad at myself for being ungrateful, then I get mad at myself for still thinking about me. When guys ogle me with there eyes I want to punch them in the fucking face. When they make some damn degrading remarks towards me I want to rip out their fucking balls and shove it down their damn throat. I don't get it to begin with, I'm not attractive. I'm sure you can go find some goddamn slutty whore that's more attractive than me, so do it, and leave me the fuck alone. Guys need to learn how to not be assholes or something. I'm talking about myself again, fuck.
Good things about today:
Ethan bought me a snickers (I guess not all guys are assholes)
I got to see Holly.
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